My Darling Lisa

 I can only imagine what a beautiful and wonderful girl you would be about now. I think of you each year on your birthday. In Dec of 2006, you will be twelve years old. Every Mother's Day, I morn for you. I light a candle and say a prayer.  I know you are in heaven with Jesus. I am sure you help pour out the rain. I had the privilege of hearing your heart beat. There has only been six other heartbeats as precious as the one I heard that day, and can nor will I ever forget.

 You may be gone from earth, but you will never be forgotten.

Sometimes in life when we are faced with difficult decisions, we spend the rest of our lives wondering if we made the right decision. I don't know exactly how much I had to do with the decision of your life or death. I pray that you forgive me for anything I may have said or done to end your life. I know your being here on earth, as it was, had a purpose. I am sure you went to a better place where there is no pain or suffering. I know that God welcomed you into his Light. I don't necessarily believe that humans turn into angels, but I am sure you have angels with you, and you are every bit as beautiful as their radiance.

 I know you were sent from God to teach us some lesson in life. I am so sorry I don't know what it is yet. I am sure God will punish me for any wrong doing in life. There is no punishment he could bestow upon me that I haven't already bestowed upon myself. I don't allow myself to be with and hold those I love so much. I guess I feel I am giving to them something I was not allowed to give to you. There is not a day that goes by that you are not in my thoughts.

I love you always