SuicideThis is for the one trying to help someone who has toyed with the thoughts of suicide or the one thinking it. This is also written to the person who needs to understand and love.
Suicide is not chosen; it happens Ever wonder why no one will allow you to talk about your pain? Me too. I don’t understand this. Something that everyone thinks they have a better solution than you, yet they won’t allow you to talk about your thoughts or feelings without wanting to put you in a hospital or medicate you? I don’t quite understand this. It seems that rather than tell someone they don’t feel something or shouldn’t think something, talk to them and let them have time to vent their frustrations. Maybe that is all it might take. Tell them don’t give suggestions without giving solutions. That’s all it’s about. You are not a bad person, or crazy, or weak, or flawed, because you feel suicidal. It doesn’t even mean that you really want to die - it only means that you have more pain than you can cope with right now. If I start piling weights on your shoulders, you will eventually collapse if I add enough weights... no matter how much you want to remain standing. Willpower has nothing to do with it. Of course you would cheer yourself up, if you could. Don’t accept it if someone tells you, “That’s not enough to be suicidal about.” There are many kinds of pain that may lead to suicide. Whether or not the pain is bearable may differ from person to person. What might be bearable to someone else, may not be bearable to you. The point at which the pain becomes unbearable depends on what kinds of coping resources you have in your life. Individuals vary greatly in their capacity to withstand pain. When pain exceeds pain-coping resources, suicidal feelings are the result. Suicide is neither wrong nor right; it is not a defect of character; it is morally neutral. It is simply an imbalance of pain versus coping resources. Some people will react badly to your suicidal feelings, either because they are frightened, angry, or ignorant; they may actually increase your pain instead of helping you, despite their intentions, by saying or doing thoughtless things. You have to understand that their bad reactions are about their fears, not about you. The fact that a person is still alive is sufficient proof that part of him wants to remain alive. The suicidal person is ambivalent - part of him wants to live and part of him wants not so much death as he wants the pain to end. Just maybe he wants to end the pain or problems for you. Ever think about that?
If you are considering suicide, and you are not a drug user or other wise bad blood... please go give blood first. You are important, your blood and platelets can save lives. I don't believe you don't care about your life... I think you just want things to get better. I can not make any guarantees that life will be any easier. But go and tell someone that you are making one last effort to make your life meaningful. Ask what does your blood do for others. If you can hold onto life, give platelets every 2 weeks for 2 months. Than if you must... and feel you have no use in this life, I won't try to talk you out of it. E-mail me. Donate your time to the crisis center, Woman's Rape Center, or homeless shelter. Hey, since you are going to kill yourself anyway... take the time to help someone else first. What do you have to lose? Your life? see depression page
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Diane